Planes

So, we left Seattle at about 6 in the morning. I don’t remember much of Seattle-Philly, except that I was between two strangers and I curled up on top of my fold-down tray and tried not to think of Fight Club.

The second flight was less pleasant, despite the better seating. MG and I actually got a seat together, but after napping for the first flight, I was unable to sleep for the second. I’d borrowed my sister’s green messenger bag for the trip, and ten feet from the plane, the strap broke. So, I was sitting there fuming. Every time I tried to get something out of the bag, the strap would flap into the aisle and demand that I move it.

The really memorable part of the flight was vaguely horrifying. I’d dropped my pencil or deck of cards or book or something. I bent over to get it, and felt the seatbelt pop. I looked down to the buckle, and it was still attached. Um? With the gentle strain of a bending summer-fattened Kristin, the seatbelt came loose from the seat.

I was sitting there freaking out. The airlines insist we wear seatbelts. Obviously they keep us from just falling over during turbulence, but the absolute “SEATBELT SIGN ON” thing always left the impression that it could help during a bad landing, or even a small crash. Maybe the jet would miss the end of the runway, and run smack into a building, and those obedient few would crawl out saying, “Wow, I’m sure glad I was wearing my seatbelt. I could have really been hurt,” and those who shunned the Seatbelt light would be sitting there, freaking dead.

I pushed the flight attendant button, and one of those really stereotypical overly-made-up middle aged women arrived. I just held up my seatbelt. She gave me this really bored look, and told me to stand up. She picked up the seat cushion, and started trying to snap the belt into place. She couldn’t quite get it, but another flight attendant snapped it in right away.

So, some conclusions could be drawn from this.
1. No one was worried, SO
2. This must happen all the time, SO
3. It is not just my random bad luck, SO
4. There are a number of faulty seatbelts everywhere that will give out with a few pounds of pressure, SO
5. These seatbelts have little to do with our safety, SO
6. Why do the airplane people keep telling us, fasten your seatbelts, keep your seatbelts fastened, when they see this enough to look bored?
7. Also, I’m a little bit paranoid.

I was tempted to just leave the stupid thing unbuckled for the rest of the flight, but...I buckled it every time anyway. I just wasn’t happy about it. Back to Fight Club, anyone? (I really need to stop watching that so much. Brad Pitt’s character asserts that the oxygen masks are just there to give us an oxygen high, to make us more cooperative. But like I said, Brad Pitt.)